The part about the deck boards bending instead of breaking is what gets me. Wood is way more forgiving than people give it credit for, and a slow overload like that just makes it creep and sag instead of snapping, which is why nobody notices until the water starts running the wrong way. Any deck holding up a hot tub or a big planter box is probably doing the same thing right now, just slower. That 14 inches of stone was basically a hot tub spread out over the whole porch. Good catch on dropping it to 4 inches, because if she had just jacked it up and left all that weight up there it would have squished right back down in a few years.

Ugh, that valve leak is the worst. Mine did the same thing and what finally worked was cleaning the spot with alcohol, then using a real patch (not the sticker) with a hot iron to press it down, been holding for two seasons now. The valve area flexes a lot so the sticker kits just peel right off, but a proper glued patch can actually hold if you prep it right.