Hang on a second, that stat might be a little misleading. Actually, the NFPA says 90% of chimney fires happen from creosote burning anywhere in the flue, not specifically the top 3 feet. I've seen plenty of heavy buildup down near the smoke chamber and first few feet above the firebox that catches fire too. People just notice the top stuff more because it's easier to see and harder to reach. I still hit the whole flue the same way every time instead of changing my routine based on that. Better to be thorough than sorry.

Wait, you were just breaking down sides of beef in Cleveland when this random 70 year old walks up and gives you the secret? That's nuts. I'd have probably thought he was some lost grandpa looking for the deli counter.

Wait, hold on. Your Keurig was only hitting 178 degrees? That is way too cold for a proper cup of coffee. I've heard some machines cheat on temperature to save energy but that is a huge difference from the 195-205 the pros use. I don't even own a Keurig but I just checked my own cheap drip machine with a meat thermometer and it was barely at 182 degrees. That explains why my morning coffee always tastes a little sour and flat compared to cafe coffee. It makes me wonder if all those pod coffee makers are secretly ruining our mornings without us even knowing.

Right, because nothing says "I'm in control" like a death grip that fights the blade every step of the way. Who knew white-knuckling a knife wasn't the secret to clean cuts?

My uncle once bought a pallet of cheap charcoal from a gas station that had rocks mixed in and it took us three hours to get the grill hot enough to cook hot dogs.