Shocked myself just reading that.

Creative license isn't a blanket pardon for using someone's real-life pain as a prompt, especially when they can identify themselves in the work. Anthony424's question about harm hits the core issue; just because you can use something doesn't mean you should. The real ethical breach was in handing it to her, turning a private observation into a pointed confrontation. That move shifts it from inspiration into something uncomfortably close to emotional trespassing.