Sat next to a grumpy cook on a Greyhound bus and he gave me a writing rule I use daily

I was riding from Nashville to Memphis about two years ago and this older guy who worked in a diner kitchen saw me scribbling in a notebook. He glanced over and said "if your first sentence don't grab me, I ain't reading the rest, so make it bleed." My question is how do you know when your opening line is actually strong enough versus just sounding cool?

3 comments

3 Comments

the_diana3d ago

Did you try reading it out loud to see if it sounds fake?

leodavis3d ago

Try it while pretending you're giving a TED Talk. If the neighbors start calling the cops you've got your answer.

anthony1293d ago

Honestly this is such a good trick for catching those awkward sentences. I had this one paragraph I wrote for a work email and reading it out loud made me realize I sounded like a robot from 2005. The cadence was all wrong, you know? Like every sentence had the same rhythm. Plus if you stumble over your own words while reading it, that's a dead giveaway the sentence needs to be rewritten. Definitely worth trying before you hit send on anything important.